Wednesday, 18 September 2013

I Passed!

Yes, I passed my first year of university. I feel so relieved!

Thanks to everyone who reads and comments for the support! I appreciate you guys and am very grateful for the support!


Saturday, 14 September 2013

Does Failing Make You Stronger?

Just a warning to readers, this post made me feel depressed while writing it so I'm going to guess it may make you depressed to read it.

I'm guessing you've heard of the saying that 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

I've had people telling me this way too many times. And that's because failure and I are well acquainted.

I failed to achieve the grades I was originally predicted in secondary school. And then I failed my first year of college and had to join another college. I then failed to get the grades I needed for university but by some stupidly divine luck, I managed to get onto a Law degree. And now, I may have failed Law school.

So yeah, I've gone through a lot of failure. Include my failure to get a job which is like the cherry on the icing.

This got me thinking of whether failure was making me stronger.

My failures in secondary school and college could have made me stronger. One thing those failures did was bring me back down to earth. My standards in everything dropped after that failure. Suddenly, my ridiculously high standards were no longer getting me down. And that was great. For a time.

But they also damaged my confidence and self-esteem. And during that time, I battled with really bad anxiety problems and apparently depression.

So the way I see it, no, I did not get stronger from failure. But I did get up and not for reasons that you may think.

As an Asian woman, my options were very limited:
1) get an education and a skilled and respected job or
2) get married and have kids.

Being only 20, option 2 did not appeal to me and so I decided to venture into university. Plus, I had no clue where I wanted to go in life. Nor did I know what I wanted to do with it. So naturally, Law school felt like a good option.

Law school is always a good option. Or at least that's what I thought. It's a good degree to have and it is one of those degrees that is very well respected. So I thought I was doing a good thing.

And now I'm here.

I failed a module in my first year. Yes. I failed one module and because of it, I may fail the whole thing altogether.

I remember being over the moon this time last year when I was chuffed to be going to university. I was excited and thought it would be the best time of my life ever. But my problems with anxiety did not get better. I had to spend a whole year trying to deal with it and because I was so behind with uni work, I didn't have time to go see the counsellor who was busy and struggled to fit me into his schedule. So I didn't go to my sessions. I had tutorial work to complete anyway.

And I never told anyone about my problems. If there is one major thing I have learnt from this experience, it is that my previous failures and problems taught me nothing. I have continued my self-destructive behaviour of not admitting my problems and asking for help into adulthood.

It is only half a month until I am due to go back to university for my second year and I still don't know what I got for my first year. I don't even know if I'm going. And if I'm not going, I have no idea what to do instead. I'll be back to square one. No, I'll be back to square zero. At least when you're on square one, you're going somewhere and are on a path.

And this may be my last post as a university student. Which sucks. University has been a better experience than school and college.

On the outside, I appeared to have gotten stronger but inside, I feel weaker.

I think people react differently to failure. It may be motivation for some people to get back up again. For some people it may be a disaster and yet they'll get back up again, not due to being stronger. And for some people it'll crush them like a mountain and they won't get back up. I feel like I'm between group 2 and 3.

I'll end the post here but I'll update again as soon as I can on whether or not I get into university. I hope I do. *fingers crossed*

Kamille :D

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Book Love: The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton

I'm back! Sort of. It feels weird to have not blogged in so long. It used to feel natural and now it feels well, alien.

So I just finished reading the Secret Keeper by Kate Morton just this week and I have to say, this is my favourite book for adults, ever. Here's the UK cover which is really beautiful!

I do judge books by covers. I know I probably shouldn't be saying that but I do. It's the only way for me to measure my interest in a book while I'm looking at a whole shelf of them without picking them up individually and reading the blurb.

The story is divided over different time periods: a little in the 1930s, the 1940s, a bit in the 1950's, the 1960s and the modern day. I can't say I particularly enjoyed the different time periods but it was a mystery so somewhat of a requirement otherwise the clues would have all been revealed at the wrong times!

I liked the characters, especially Vivien, Jimmy and Laurel. I didn't like Dorothy as much as I did in the beginning of the novel but if you read the book you will know why. Her character is one that really changes and not in a good way.

The plotline is (no specific spoilers here) about Laurel who witnesses something shocking in the 1960s which haunts her to the modern day when she finally decides to investigate into a family member's past in World War 2 London where Dorothy, Vivien and Jimmy meet.

I'm not going to mention any more of the plot or I'll be giving away juicy plot turns that were extremely well thought out. I don't think I've ever read a book that have kept me guessing as much as this book.

Kate Morton's writing is beautiful and descriptive. You actually feel like you are there but it can be very tempting to skip the detail and get to the action. I had to force myself to keep going back.

And the ending is just divine. I never would have guessed it.

I've never truly loved a book as much as this. Adult books lose their sense of magic, love and dreams. The Secret Keeper is a 'grown-up' book which has the atmosphere of a children's book. I think that's why I loved it so much.

I think I'm getting fangirl-y over this book.


Sunday, 14 July 2013

On Failing University

I know I said I was going to update earlier but I've been sick and don't see myself getting better over the next couple of weeks so I thought I'd just gather the strength to do it now.

Three weeks ago, my university released provisional coursework grades and I unfortunately found out that I failed one of my modules and will have to retake over summer. I have to say that I was completely dreading this. I failed a lot of exams in college and it was painful but I had hoped that I could at least have one year which didn't include the F word (FAIL). 

So even though it's technically the summer holidays, I get to spend it studying. 



Worse is that I did really well in the other module. I wanted to be happy about it but I couldn't. Final grades aren't released yet so I have to wait a little longer to find out. The only think I hate about summer apart from the heat is having to wait for results. 

I'll update hopefully when I get my results but for now, adiĆ³s. 


Sunday, 9 June 2013

First Year Exams Are Over!

Yes, I have finished my first year of university! Finally!

It's been a fun year, a hard year and a happy one too but the stress was brutal. I suppose it'll just get worse though.

Right now I'm ill but once I get better, I'll try and get back into a regular posting schedule.

I hope you're all enjoying summer.


Saturday, 4 May 2013

A Confucius Quote

“Life Is Really Simple, But We Insist On Making It Complicated.” – Confucius 

I came across this quote a couple of weeks ago, wrote it down on a post-it note and placed the note inside my diary so every day when I open my diary, this quote reminds me that I don't have to do everything the hard way. 

In life we often forget about simplicity. 

We forget about how it feels to have the wind blowing on our face and shield ourselves from the blustering instead. 

We forget the beauty of the sunrise and spend that time instead on commuting to what is nowhere in the grand scheme of things. 

We forget about the joys of walking through nature and watch reality television instead to wind down after a long day lost within a collection of long days that will end the same way. 

Our whole lives will be devoted to working in jobs we don't like, to buy stuff we don't need. And we're going to complain about it a lot. I have to commute during rush hour way too many times and the number of tired people I see collapse onto train seats with a briefcase at bursting point and eyes that have been stung by lack of sleep makes me feel really depressed. 

Our futures are full of jobs, taxes, utility bills, financial pressures and everything that makes you want to bang your head into a wall repeatedly until you pass out. 

That's what we see when we look at the future. 

But when I see that quote, it reminds me to the of the future where I go on picnics in summer with my family and where I sit on a beach with a iced slushie drink and watch the sunset. I'd rather think of this future than the other. 

And yes, I am a very simple person. According to nearly everyone around me. 


Thursday, 2 May 2013

On Voting For The First Time


I voted for the first time today in the local council elections in the UK that is going on today. I didn't actually know about this since I've spent the last couple of weeks with my head under textbooks and dictionaries so when my Mum told me, I suddenly got excited.

Now, I've actually been persuading my Mum politically for a good few years now. I'm proud of the fact that I can actually persuade my parents politically. It's great fun!

But today, I was able to go and make my voice heard. Now, my vote probably won't make a difference because the area I live in is very Conservative and I don't vote for them. But recently, British Politics has because the shitty skidmark of the UK. Even lawyers are liked more than our politicians!

So I went to the polling station and gave my vote while jumping around like a hyena on crack. The people there must have thought I was crazy.

And then we left. And it feels pointless. Absolutely pointless. I spent many years wishing I could vote and now that I do, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I feel disappointed. My vote probably made no difference. But do I regret it? No. At least I made good use of my vote!

So that,s my story. I guess. I'd be interested to hear about your opinions on voting and what your first time voting was like. Did you feel disappointed in the same way? Or did it fill you with hope?


Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Funny Crap On The Internet 1

The past few weeks have been a goldmine when it's come to finding really funny stuff on the internet. And I'm going to share it all with you! So sit back and have a few laughs. Caution: some swearing in this post.

Funny Crap 1 - The Woman Who Can't Parallel Park
I remember when I was learning to parallel park. It was the worst thing I ever had to learn but eventually I learnt how to park. But never did I hit a car. In fact, my first time parking on the side of the road took less than 3 minutes. And this woman was at it for half an hour! The funny thing is that even when she hits other cars and messes up badly, she still tries. I have to give it to her though; she has a lot of determination! 

The guys recording this have lovely accents though! I think I laughed more at what they were saying than the actual parking. The ending was hilarious though when they were all cheering!

But this video makes me glad that I'm too poor to afford a car. 

Funny Crap 2 - Doc Brown  
My Proper Tea 
Being British and in love with tea, I can totally relate to this! 

There are some other videos of this comedian on Youtube and I was tempted to put all of them up but I thought it might be a bit annoying so I'll put another video up of one of his vids and let you search for the others if you're interested. 

Racist Rap

Funny Crap 3 - Russell Howard Vids

I'll post 2 videos for Russell Howard! 

Funny Crap 4 - Hair Craze in Japan 
Click here to read an article from the Daily Mail showing some other cool hairstyles from Japan. 
These hairstyles may be a bit eccentric but you have to just love them! Sometimes I'm tempted to do something cool with my hair but being a law student, I kind of have to be boring haha!

I hope you had fun going through this post and hope you all have a good week! :D


Sunday, 28 April 2013

Echo Effect - You Must Read This!

A fellow Blogger, Heather, has started a webcomic called Echo Effect (click here to read!).

If you can then please read her webcomic to support her. She's majorly talented and funny and Echo Effect is guaranteed to make you laugh! Well it made me laugh!

Just to make it easier:

Is that clear enough?

Have fun reading! :D


Friday, 26 April 2013

The Man Who Was Too Good Looking For Saudi Arabia

I love looking out for news stories that make me laugh, whether they are funny or just plain stupid. Here's one of them to brighten up your day!

This one is particularly hilarious.

Omar Borkan Al Gala is apparently one of three men who were deported from Saudi Arabia due to being too good looking. Here is a picture of the good looking man.


As silly as this story is, I have to admit he is very good looking!

I often wonder if good looking people know they're good looking. I guess one way to find out is to see if you get deported for it!


Wednesday, 24 April 2013

LLB Law: The First Semester & Advice


I really should have written this post closer to the end of my first semester since I have just over a month left till the end of my second semester. Despite what the title says, most of this post could apply to anyone studying a degree.

The first semester was a whirlpool of just about everything that is crazy!

So here we go.

Number 1 - meeting people
You're going to meet a large number of people within the first couple of weeks of the semester. You probably won't talk to most of them on a regular basis but this is the first opportunity you have to interact with your classmates and this is the perfect time to make a good impression.

Don't be rude to your fellow classmates. Say "hi" everytime you see them and ask them how they're doing. It's not exactly difficult and it may not seem that important but it will start conversation and people like other people who talk. I found that other students were too shy to talk much and because I talk a lot when nervous, I found people found it easy to talk to me since I took the pressure of talking off of them. But don't ramble. It'll get annoying quickly and it will make you look slightly stupid. Instead, try discussing how sixth form or secondary school was or what you did over summer. A good conversation starter is your course. Since you're all going to be studying the same modules (mostly) in the first year, talk about which modules you're looking forward too and why.

Practice good hygeine. Please take a shower. Nobody wants to sit through a 2 hour lecture with someone who smells of alcohol and late night take-aways.

Smile. People like happy people. Nobody wants to talk to someone grumpy and it might even look like you don't want to talk. Stand in front of your mirror for a couple of seconds every morning and smile at yourself. That's the face you want, not the face of a grumpy-guts. But be careful. Don't walk around campus with a Cheshire cat smile. People might think you're up to no good and honestly, it might look like you're a crazy psycho.

Get people's numbers. If you meet someone you talk to a lot on the first day, get their number so you can contact them. If not, find them on Facebook. You want to interact with people so make sure you open yourself to interactions!

Try to remember people's names. It's embarrassing to forget isn't it? But if you do forget, be honest and ask them. It'll make you seem like you're at least trying.

Decide to meet up later during the week for coffee. Basically, make an effort to see people out of lectures and tutorials. It's easy during the first few weeks when everyone is taking things easy but once you get into the middle of the semester, it's going to be difficult to spend 15 hours a week hanging out.

Number 2 - organisation is no joke 
Get yourself a diary. This is seriously one of the most important things you could do in the first couple of weeks. Get yourself organised and know what you have to do on each day. Write down when your lectures and tutorials are. Make note of social events and days out so you know when you won't be studying. And then slot off time for extra studying and reading so you know when to turn your phone off and get away from the internet.

Get a pencil case. You're going to need a pen, a pencil and a highlighter at least. You might also need a stapler if your jackass library decide to take away the staplers.

Get a sturdy bag. It doesn't need to be 100% nerd but make sure it can hold at least 1 notebook, 2 textbooks and a statute book. Small purse-bags are not ideal.

Get comfortable trainers. Seriously though, walking around in flip-flops and high heels for hours on end is not good for your feet. And no, flip-flops are not 100% safe. And they look stupid unless it's 25°C or over. 

Number 3 - studying and the library 
Despite what anyone says, studying in your room is not always a good idea. Make sure you visit the library for those times when you keep finding yourself on Facebook instead of researching for your next tutorial. 

Print off the main cases for each topic, read them, highlight them and put them into a folder. You can read less important cases online but the pivotal cases should ideally be printed off and don't be afraid to write notes all over your copies!

Studying in groups, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Try to balance group work with individual work. Studying in groups is good for tutorial research and stuff. More work will get done in less time but when it comes to coursework and exam revision, try to study 75% on your own and 25% in a group. Feel free to change the %'s based on your own needs and studying style but remember individual study is also good. 

Get some decent headphones to muffle the sounds of the students who are studying something 'fun'. Most students will be quiet in the library. But some will be loud, irritating and obnoxious. It's especially worse during revision time when 100 people will cramp themselves into one study corner. Even if the headphones are off, at least it will be harder to listen to annoying people who don't have exams but feel the need to take up precious space in the library. 

Essay plans. These are life-savers for lazy students. When you come across a question which could come up in an exam, if you don't want to write the whole thing, just write a plan. You could also use the plan for revision. 

Don't fall behind. Or at least try not to. Catching up is hard work and a lot of the time, you won't manage it. But if you do fall behind, plan how you're going to catch up and see if a friend is willing to lend you some notes or help you through your catching up times. 

Use revision cards to summarise cases. This will be a godsend when you're studying for exams. I'll scan an example and upload it later. 

Number 4 - Tutors
Be nice. Seriously, they'll be more likely to help you if you're nice. Do the work they assign and remember that you can always ask them for help or questions. Most will be happy to answer your questions. And don't swear in front of them. It's a common thing for young people to swear but there's a time and place for acting like that. 

Number 5 - It's okay to be a nerd
Everyone around you will also be one. I tell other students that I'm a writer and although it's something that was definitely nerdy in school, now it's pretty cool. Everyone will have had the hard work and the brains to get into university so suddenly, everyone around you will be similar. 

Number 6 - the dreadfully boring art of taking notes
It's boring but an invaluable skill. Your lecturers and tutors won't be giving you your own notes. You'll have to take them yourself. I'll do another post after my exams showing you some of my notes and how I summarise cases on revision cards. 

Get your textbook and a revision book. Open up the revision book and make notes from that book first and then turn to another page and make additional, more detailed notes from the textbook. Or you could just use the textbook. But try to write some summary points BEFORE the detailed notes so when you're revision you don't have to keep going through the detailed points to grasp the main concepts. 

Number 7 - attendance 
If attendance of lectures is optional then feel free to turn up or not go. Not everyone learns well in lectures. I get bored and side-tracked. I struggle to listen without daydreaming. I get claustrophobic. In fact, I've even ran out of lectures. But if you do miss them, then remember to study the topic yourself. There's no excuse to not study yourself if you don't go. You have two hours to spare, then pick up the book and read! 

Tutorials are different. They aren't optional. YOU HAVE TO GO! But there will always be people who just don't go and they are the kind of people who make me angry. Not only are you paying for this attention and contact time, tutors can go into detail that lecturers can't and you'll also find that tutorials could only have 8 tutees. Tutorials are the best part of the degree for me. I can ask questions. We can have discussions. It's invaluable. So please try and attend all of them. They're also a lot more fun than lectures in my opinion!

Well that's it for now. I'll update this with another post later if something else comes up. 

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments section! If you are thinking of studying law and have any questions then please feel free to ask in the comments section too!

Kamille :D 

Sunday, 10 March 2013


Hello dear readers, some of you may have noticed by prolonged absence and for that I'm sorry.

Along with studying, I've also been ill and have spent the last 3 days with the wonderful thing spreading around which is known by the name of Norovirus.

And it's horrible.

I don't think I've ever felt worse. In fact the moment when you're crouching over a toilet at 2.30am and barfing out your stomach is when you realise how crap life is. And then the stomach cramps. OMG it hurt to move but then it hurt so much I kept moving.

The worst thing is that it's really contagious. I mean, I feel really bad knowing I was so ill I couldn't go and buy my mother a mother's day present. Instead, I gave her Norovirus for mother's day.

The appetite thing is awful. I love food. I really do but all I've eaten this weekend is three spoons of rice and a boiled egg.

And yes, I did write this blog post just to complain about the illness ha!

But seriously, this makes me angry at all the people who don't wash their hands. I was in A&E on Friday night due to dehydration and blood em, coming out. I won't go into the details for the sqeemish and the number of women walking out of the bathroom without washing their hands made me really angry! Seriously, that's the most disgusting thing ever!

But now I'm going to finish this blog post and go write an essay I have no idea about because I haven't been going to lectures. Yes, my second semester is going really badly considering I was golden student in semester 1.

So goodbye my dear readers and I will be back maybe in a couple of weeks if I manage to make it out of my temporary hell.