Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Small Thoughts: Will I Ever Have Children?

For those who haven't read my post on Hidradenitis Suppurativa, click here

That's the illness I have and it tends to run in families so doctors think there may be a genetic component to it although they haven't found an allele for the illness.

But there is a high chance that if I have children, they may have this awful illness which has ruined my life.

So should I have children knowing they might get sick?

Well, here's the thing. There's no cure. And treatments mostly don't work and are extremely ineffective. Plus, the pain is difficult to manage.

I don't want to have children if they're going to get sick. First I would feel guilty for being selfish and having children and second, sometimes I can be so ill that I can't take care of myself. So how would I take care of the sick child?

So I made the decision that I wouldn't have children but I have recently gotten very close to one of my cousin's baby daughter. She's a very adorable girl God bless her and feel very motherly towards her. But it makes me sad since I've made the decision to never have children, at least until doctors can cure this illness or treat it properly.

I guess I'll have to stick with dogs lol! Although my family are Muslim so I don't know how they'd respond to me getting a dog.

And here's a Siberian Husky to cheer us both up! I LOVE Siberian Huskies!

Isn't this puppy just so beautiful!!

So what are your thoughts? Should I or should I not have children? Is it right to have a child knowing that they could get very sick?


PS Just to clear this up, I am not planning on having any children any time soon. I'm only 19 guys!


  1. I never would have known or imagined you have this problem. It's got to be discouraging. I hope you can adopt when you're ready. If you have a child on your own by accident or whatever, you will love her just as much as your parents love you. I certainly won't try to advise you what to do--whether to have children or adopt. That'll be something for you and your spouse to decide.

    1. Lol! I do my best to not talk about it. I'm trying to talk about it though since I've found that not talking can make things worse.

      I don't know if I'll adopt. I will if I am in the position to take care of a child but if not, then no kiddies for me!


  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your suffering. I hope that soon researchers will be able to find a better way to treat your symptoms.

    My husband and I have four children, one of whom is autistic (autism has a strong genetic component). So I think about the possibility that our children could one day have autistic children too. But thankfully, God has blessed our autistic son and occupational therapy, diet, hard work, stress management, etc., are helping him live a normal life.

    1. I hope so too! The contraceptive pill is working at the moment but I'll get ill the second I get off.

      I'm sorry about your son. I'm glad the therapy, diet, work and stress management has helped!

  3. Wow, that is a tough decision you have to make. First, I'm sorry that you have to go through the illness and pain. Second, as to your question . . . I really think that's something only you can answer. Other people might do things differently in your place, but you have to decide what is best for you. Wishing you all the best and sending all my good vibes as you make the best decision for you. ((hugs))

    1. I know only I can make the decision but I was just wondering what others thought. It's a tough decision to make thought. I always hoped to one day have a child.

      Thanks. *hugs*

  4. I'm sorry that Hidradenitis Suppurativa is genetic, causing you to consider something like not having children of your own. :(

    Whether you decide to have your own children or not is up to you, since not only is there no right-or-wrong answer, but it's a very personal decision. And hey, even if you decide not to give birth to any kids, you could always adopt some if you decide you want to be a mother someday!

    P.S. That Siberian Husky is adorable!

    1. I want to adopt one day but I have problems with it. First, I'd spent most my life scared that my child will turn around and reject me. And second, my health may not put me in a position in which I can adopt.

      The big problem is that I may seek help for mental health problems in the future and if I do it would work against me in an adoption process.

      That Sibe is lovely! It's my desktop now so I have something to be happy about!

    2. Aww, I'm sorry adoption would be just as difficult of a road. :( *hugs* At least children isn't something you want to have happen now, so you have time to weigh your options and come to grips with anything depressing about your ultimate decision.

  5. I think that you've taken a responsible decision-I'm personally witnessing a huge family tragedy where insanity runs in their family. Yet all of them have children, and I can't tell you how painful it is to see a friend and know that they're living with a parent who is going mad and that they are fully likely to turn the same way when they are older.

    1. I'm sorry about the position you're in. It's very difficult. Especially because we're looked down in society for commenting on someone else's parenting choices.

      It sounds like a ticking clock.

      I don't understand why someone would want to have a child knowing they're going to get sick too. You're just causing pain and suffering to someone due to your own greed.

      I'm not going to say I will never have my own kids. I might if doctors find a cure/effective treatments but if they don't, I will be adopting.


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