Friday, 23 March 2012

Causing A Scene In Public

First of all, I would just wish to say that my post where I said I would not be blogging much should be ignored. It seems as if my blogging rate has increased under all this pressure. What can I say?! This blog keeps me sane.

Onto the post.

I was walking home from college today when I was walking through a nearly empty park. In the park were a group of 8-14 boys my age. Note that I was on my own.

If they had just been talking, I would've been fine.

But they were shouting. Very loudly. At each other.

So I walked as fast as I could.Walking fast was my only option since I don't know any martial arts.

And it was then when I realised how weak I was. Usually I feel strong and tough. I keep my emotions in check and like to remain formal. But I freaked out then. I didn't care how I appeared. I just didn't want to get caught up in anything.

I then started ranting to myself. I would never act like that. In fact I don't know of many people who would.

I don't think they realised, but they tarnished the image of every teenager out there who struggles against the stereotype of hooded youth. Us younguns are told we are dumb, rude, have no manners and are a stain on society.

While I and a large number of teenagers are the exact opposite, these boys ticked every single box of the hooded youth.

I was so angry that I decided I had to write a blog post on this even though I wasn't meant to update today.

I know we shouldn't focus on what others think of us but sometimes it would be nice if people thought about how they appeared because those boys continued to shout as I walked past and it was obvious I was uncomfortable.

Have you ever had an experience like this? Would you have walked through the park if you had been in my position?


Thursday, 22 March 2012

The Anti-Social Network

As someone who has been bullied through life, I've always felt quite touchy when it comes to bullying. It makes me feel sick, simples.

I've also had to watch my little brother go through a lot of bullying which has been tough because he's had it a lot worse than I did. My bullying never got physical whereas my little brother has come home more times than I can count with bruises and cuts on him.

What was the school's response? One of the two:

  • He started it - My brother is slightly shorter than me and I'm average. The boys who have bullied him (I've seen them) are usually overweight and taller than him). My brother is intelligent, trust me, his grades are a lot better than mine and he works a lot harder. I know he wouldn't start a fight with someone who could easily squish him by sitting on him. 
  • They were just playing - This really pisses me off. If someone is ending up with cuts and bruises on them, it's not playing. If they come home crying, it's not playing. 

I was interested when I saw a documentary from the BBC called The Anti-Social Network.

Click here to watch it but it's only available till 26/3/12 and available to those in the UK.

Click here to watch it on Youtube if you are outside the UK

I hope you have fun watching!


Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Small Thoughts: Will I Ever Have Children?

For those who haven't read my post on Hidradenitis Suppurativa, click here

That's the illness I have and it tends to run in families so doctors think there may be a genetic component to it although they haven't found an allele for the illness.

But there is a high chance that if I have children, they may have this awful illness which has ruined my life.

So should I have children knowing they might get sick?

Well, here's the thing. There's no cure. And treatments mostly don't work and are extremely ineffective. Plus, the pain is difficult to manage.

I don't want to have children if they're going to get sick. First I would feel guilty for being selfish and having children and second, sometimes I can be so ill that I can't take care of myself. So how would I take care of the sick child?

So I made the decision that I wouldn't have children but I have recently gotten very close to one of my cousin's baby daughter. She's a very adorable girl God bless her and feel very motherly towards her. But it makes me sad since I've made the decision to never have children, at least until doctors can cure this illness or treat it properly.

I guess I'll have to stick with dogs lol! Although my family are Muslim so I don't know how they'd respond to me getting a dog.

And here's a Siberian Husky to cheer us both up! I LOVE Siberian Huskies!

Isn't this puppy just so beautiful!!

So what are your thoughts? Should I or should I not have children? Is it right to have a child knowing that they could get very sick?


PS Just to clear this up, I am not planning on having any children any time soon. I'm only 19 guys!

Monday, 19 March 2012

Small Thoughts: Voting

I'm going to start doing a series of small posts about random topics that have come up during my day. I just think this might be a bit fun!

So I was talking to my brother today and we discussed the voting system.

Now, this may sound controversial but bear with me for a moment.

We are told that everyone has the right to vote.

Would you let these kind of people vote?

This woman is Shannon Matthew's mother. She had her daughter 'kidnapped' to make money off deals with newspapers and donations from the public after the disappearance of Maddie McCann in Portugal.

Maybe everyone has the right to vote.

But does that mean everyone should vote? No, it doesn't. Because saying everyone should vote would only work when everyone voting has the mental capacity to make a logical and sound judgement.

So what do you think?


Thursday, 15 March 2012

Very Short Post

Well it won't be that short but I'm just going to do a quick update and dash away.

I'm so busy at the moment it's ridiculous and I still haven't gotten around to filling in student finance. Gonna buckle down tomorrow and get it done.

Meanwhile I've got two essays to write for Monday and right now, I want to just crawl into bed and fall asleep. I guess most people want to do that anyway though.

History is a nightmare at the moment. I swear when I wasn't looking that my workload just increased by about 500%. And now I've got two 3 more exams to revise for during summer.

Well isn't my life pleasant?

And I can't write anything at the moment. No stories and no blog posts.

So I'm going to be very quiet for the next few months. There will be updates but they'll be rather rare so keep a look out!

So long! See you after exams everyone!


Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Reflections On My Writing Life - January/February

I don't think January was very eventful since I was so busy so I'm combining January with February.

I knew I was not going to get a lot of writing done in these months due to coursework and exams and I was pretty right. Not much really happened but I'll just note down the main writings events:

  • My children's fantasy is still something I'm working on. I've sort of moved on from the planning and am more in the writing stages which is good since I've been working on the project for such a long time. But the plot keeps changing and I keep changing details so it's hard to write since I keep scribbling bits out. 
    • Currently, I don't think I'll be finishing this novel anytime in the next year but I hope to finish it sometime in the future. I will finish it one day but I don't think it will be today. 
  • My children's/YA fairytale is going okay at the moment. I'm still planning but it's quite exciting and I hope to finish it within a year. It might take a bit longer though. 
  • My YA is now fully in Dumped mode. I haven't gotten rid of it but I don't have much passion for it and I don't want to continue with something that I don't truly love. I still know what happens through the entire series though so it doesn't feel like I've not told the story. 
  • Inkpop. Goodbye my dear friend. For those who don't know, Inkpop was a website for teens to upload their writing and get feedback and you'd get the chance to get a review from the scumbags HarperCollins. They didn't give us much notice and told us 3 days before, after they'd revealed outside the website that they would sell Inkpop to Figment. I feel somewhat betrayed but I think I'm going to do okay. Life goes on and I'm not spending vast amounts of time on the internet anymore. 

So yeah, that's what January and February were like for me. Not much in the way of writing but at least my illness has somewhat taken a backseat now and I can focus on college work and my writing.

Here's to hoping March is a better month!

How has your 2012 been so far?

Happy writings people!

Kamille :D

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Moving On From A Bad Project

I was going to use novels instead of projects in the title but considering not all writers write novels, I decided to stick with projects.

Throughout my time as a writer, I have worked on a large number of different projects from short stories to novels. Some of them I was close to for a long time and some of them, I was never keen on. But I tried to work on all of them. I was eager to make them work. Why?

Because at that time, I was convinced that it could turn out well and maybe they might have if I had spent longer on it. But as I have progressed in my writing, I have learnt that not everything turns out like I want it to. Sometimes, I have found myself working on a project that:
- doesn't interest me
- is underdeveloped
- makes very little sense

If a project is anything like the points above then I will usually ditch it and only come back to it if I get another mini-idea that sparks the project off again.

This has resulted in me having a lot of unfinished works.

At the time of the ditching, it was rather painful to let go of something I was once passionate about and I go through what I call the break-up stage where I don't feel good.

But then my sadness disappears when I get another idea. And this idea is good. It's new. It's fresh. And most of all, I love it. And then I begin writing again.

Looking back on these writings, I was very young and inexperienced. I feel like I've learnt a lot then but I can also see what I've left behind. I see my old self in my writing and I miss that old self. I used to have more confidence. I was more creative. And I was happy in my own skin.

Now, things are different. Life has changed. I have changed. I've faced problems. I've had to deal with the bad times and I've had to do my best to hang on to the good times.

I love my newer projects and I wish to complete some of them one day but I will never forget my older works. They were once a part of me and I will do my best to hold on. I won't ever go back to some of those stories but the ideas and the characters will stay with me forever.

Do you ever remember your old ideas and stories? Do you still have them? What do you think of them?