Saturday, 26 November 2011

When Life Gives You Lemons

You get some really disgusting lemonade. You need to add water and sugar anyway!

So I went shopping today and totally failed at buying the stuff I needed. Lesson learnt: plan before going shopping. I am tired from the trip though.

I have also noticed that I am behind with my blog posts. This post isn't going to be related to writing but the videos I'm going to show are some really funny ones that I found on Youtube. They're from the British show "Mock The Week".

Rejected Questions From This Years Exam Papers
Things You Wouldn't Hear At A School Assembly
Unlikely Lines From The Last Harry Potter Book
Russel Howard - Young People
Russel Howard - Education

These are probably the best ever clips on Youtube!

I would love to be a comedienne. Ah that would be so fun! If only I was actually funny :(


Thursday, 24 November 2011

Because Life Sucks Sometimes

I don't know if it's just the lack of sunlight since we've had really foggy weather this week but I feel so tired and miserable. It might just be the stress of having to work harder to meet the entry requirements to study Law though. I love winter but I'm just so exhausted right now that I'm not in the mood to have fun.

I'm currently going through my little checklist of what to do when you feel like this. I'm gonna share it with you though since I love you so much.

Here we go:

  • Drink a cup of tea.
  • Take a shower or a bath. 
  • Watch a funny movie. 
  • Watch a TV show I love. 
  • Draw a picture.
  • Bake muffins. 
  • Sing a song. 
  • Rearrange my bedroom. 
  • Cook a meal. 
  • Take a walk. 
  • Deep condition my hair. 
  • Listen to my favourite songs. 
  • Go to bed really early so I get a really long sleep. 
  • Cry. 
  • Eat ice cream. 
  • Eat chocolate. 
  • Play computer games. 
  • Talk about something funny with a friend. 

I've highlighted the ones I've done so far! 

So far, nothing has worked.

This isn't a very happy post. Sorry 'bout that.

Here's a video of a song I'm in love with at the moment by Jojo. Disaster.


Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Being A Writer and Telling Lies

I don't know about other writers but I've found that years of being a natural story-teller has resulted in me being a compulsive liar. I lie at everything. My lies can be cruel, funny, insignificant or even pointless.

It's a habit. I'm addicted. Lying is my drug.

My theory is that my story-telling habits have just led me to enjoy spinning these epic tales of me doing stuff I'd never actually do. But now I've finally had to deal with the aftermath. People remember the lies.

"I thought you said you had a pond in your back garden?"

"I thought you said you were on a diet where you were only allowed to eat popcorn?"

Seriously, they get worse.

I've actually googled this. I've now self-diagnosed myself with compulsive liar syndrome. I was quite surprised this even existed.

I've not met many people who lie like me. Although I probably wouldn't know if they were lying or not.

Anyway, I'm off to do a set of biology questions, a history essay and an english essay. Ahh, the problems that lying give to me and yet I still continue with this awful habit!

Sunday, 13 November 2011

5 Reasons Why I Love Winter

photo from:

While summer fades away, awesome winter comes into the picture. I think I have this obsession with winter because I dream of the cold. I dream of waking up one day and finding snow falling heavily. I dream of waking up and finding a thick layer of frost on the ground. But most of all, I love breathing in air so cold, your throat tickles.

I probably need to get some help.

But I guess we can assume that I am madly in love with winter. In fact, I always feel crushed when temperatures begin to rise and the sun is up for longer than it should, in my opinion.

So here are my reasons for loving winter so much:
  • I get to sit inside and drink warm cups of tea, while disillusioned adults run down the streets outside to get back home from the train station. I know this sounds really mean and yeah, I really am such a horrible person. But I always love being comfortable in front of the TV or my laptop, with a warm mug of tea while it's freezing cold outside and knowing that the adults who look down on teenagers like me are suffering! haha! No, I'm just kidding. I like being cosy and it's a bit hard to be cosy when it's so humid, a bird decides to make a nest in your hair. 
  •  TV is so much better in Winter. I really don't understand why but TV shows are better in Winter. And the best thing is the Doctor Who Christmas Special. I swear we should have one every day! and then there are the awesome Christmas time movies you get to watch with a plate of pasta and a fizzy drink.
  • Rain. I love it. I also love sleeping in my warm bed when it's raining pretty badly outside. 
  • Snow. I don't actually love playing in it as much as I probably should. This is how a snow day goes for me:
    • Wake up
    • See snow
    • Go back to bed because I know college is closed and nothing is better than being able to sleep in and knowing that due to the mess that the UK gets itself into every Winter, college will be closed for the next two day too!
  • The freezing cold weather kills off all the bugs and the spiders. And I HATE them. 

You might be wondering why I'm so obsessed with the weather. My answer: I'm British and we Brits are completely and utterly in love with talking/complaining about the weather.

Unfortunately, the weather has been a bit warm here for a while. Hopefully, the snow is coming soon! Fingers crossed for enough snow to make a snowman but not so much the roads come to a standstill.


Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Really Bad Ideas For Your Novel - Part 2

So, after lots of work, here's Part 2 of My Bad Ideas!

Make sure you have adverbs on every page. Adverbs can be useful when you want to describe something. But too much of them can result in dense paragraphs that will make even Olympic readers shudder. When you're done with the writing, highlight every adverb on every page just so you know where they are. If you see bricks of yellow or whatever colour you're using littered in every paragraph, you know you have a problem. Here's a little example for you:
"Stop talking," shouted Duck angrily.
And change it to "Stop talking!" shouted Duck.

...She ran up the stairs quickly and nervously looked around to find an escape...
The adverbs have been highlighted.
I don't know about you but they do absolutely nothing to excite me and are just a bit dull. Instead:
...She ran up the stairs, panting between every step. She stumbled around to find an escape and took each step with caution... might be a bit more fun to read

Include as many characters as you can. There isn't a quote of how many characters you can have in your novel but make sure it isn't more than 5 or 6 main characters. Even then, 5 characters is a bit much. I usually have 2 or 3 main characters and 3 minor characters. I use as many side characters as I need. I try to limit this because no reader will ever be able to remember 50 minor characters.

Give your character a bit too much personality. It's best to give readers an insight to your character's personality but don't fill her up with too much wackiness. That can be a bit overwhelming for some readers. I tend to follow this guide:
Up to 10% wackiness
Up to 20% shyness
Up to 15% sarcasm
Up to 5% clumsiness (Bella Swan anyone? Seriously, keep away from the clumsiness if you can. It's not a flaw. It's just annoying to read. In real life, it's funny. Ever watched anyone fall into a canal? That's just pure lol. Until they get their foot caught on some weeds and you have to pull them out)
Up to 20% of your best friend
Up to 10% of you
Up to 20% of normal

Change perspectives every few minutes. First, it's confusing. Second, it'll stop readers from forming connections with a character if they only see the character for five minutes in the entire book.

Kill off everyone and I really do mean everyone who appears in your novel. Or you could just hunt down readers and stab them in the heart. It'll save them from actually having to read the book. Plus, the killing bit can make you psychotic.

Hope you enjoyed reading this!


Wednesday, 2 November 2011

I Have Weird Chapter Lengths

I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to update since my computer has started acting up again. It will refuse to download and open files which sucks because I can no longer do much college work on my computer. Fortunately, it hasn't acted up in the last couple of hours so I have been able to write this. I just hope it doesn't spaz while I'm writing.

So I noticed that some people have chapters that are all close to identical in length and I began feeling paranoid about mine.

I sometimes get OCD and find it annoying that my chapters vary so much in size. I have some chapters that go past 3000 words and then some that don't even reach 1000 words. I did try and impose a rule on myself that all chapters had to be 3000 - 4000 words in length but ended up with chapters that contained either too much information of half a scene and would be cut up in unsuitable places.

The thing with chapters is that you cannot really determine how long they should be. Your chapters should be short enough to keep the reader reading (I refuse to read extremely long chapters) and long enough to tell the story.

Some might be long and some might be short. But at the end of the day, they need to end at a suitable place. A teacher once told me that each chapter should have one main event important to the overall plot. All other mini events in that chapter should be connected somehow to the main event, lead up to it or show the aftermath of the main event. If you do have a mini event and it is in no way connected to the main event of that chapter, it doesn't belong there and should be its own chapter.

This actually makes me feel better that my chapter lengths are so awkward. I think my shortest chapter has been less than 200 words. The chapter right before that was nearly 2800 words so the short chapter just looks out of place.

So how long are your chapters and do you feel the need to keep them the same length? I'd love to know!